The Dreams that Never Died
by Sami-Fire
Summary: Yet another look at Richter's past, this time through Aster's point of view.
1. Chapter 1: Explanations

Author's Notes:

Whew... this one took a while. I don't think it came out too bad, but it's got its ups and downs. I like the second and final chapters the most, although I had trouble figuring out where to actually end the final chapter. Third chapter... It's alright, but it feels kind of clunky somehow. I can't put my finger on why it clunks. There was also a fifth chapter that came in between the current third and fourth ones, but I cut it because it was formed around one cheap gag and I couldn't get it to actually go anywhere. Maybe I'll put it back in if I figure out how to fix it, which doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon.

By the way, you probably ought to read "Reality: the Magic that Turns Courage into Dreams" and "Phantasm of a Dim Dream" first, since this fic contains references to certain events that happened in those fics. Although I'm pretty sure that, if you're strapped for time, you can get away with just reading this one, too.

As usual, reviews are appreciated. Here we go!

* * *

Huh? You can hear me? That's good! Not many people can hear me, so it's always nice to meet someone who can.

So... my name is Aster, and I died two years ago (I think you already know the story behind that one). Nice to meet you!

Well, for the time being, I've switched my field of research to a different kind of spirit... ghosts. Well, now that I am one, I want to know how things work! It's just as fascinating as my old studies back in Sybak...

Here's the first interesting thing I learned from a few of my colleagues: most of the ghosts that "come back" had some incredibly powerful bond with something or someone in the mortal world.

Oh, you wanted to know about my time with Richter? I was getting there.

What am I bound to in this world? I think you might have figured it out... It's Richter. I cared for Richter then, and I still do now. That's why I'm here.

I bet you're wondering why I keep defending Richter. He did almost destroy the world. That alone is a pretty strong argument for him being a bad guy. But think of it this way: he was stopped, and he's willing to pay for his crimes. In fact, he IS paying for it. He is willing to be set on fire every day for a thousand years! When everything is said and done, it'll be like nothing happened... well, almost. If he's accepting the punishment and the world is no worse off in the end, what's the problem? Maybe you've got a clearer understanding of what happened, but that's what I think about it.

I know Richter better than anyone else. I mean, he was always a little grouchy and he could be little unstable if he had a really bad day, but deciding to blow up the world is the exception rather than the norm. He had his bouts of misanthropy, but he was never one of those fanatics that wanted everyone to die.

I met Richter in what was basically a storeroom almost every day for three years. We learned a lot about each other during that time, and after that, I was with him just about 24/7 for four years. He trusted me with everything. I know that Richter isn't nearly as bad as everyone says he is.

I've only been trying to tell him that since the day we first met...


	2. Chapter 2: The Boys' Secret Room

The first day I met Richter in that room (which happened to be the day after we first met), he was so fidgety and nervous that he didn't sit still the entire time. When I opened the door, the first thing he did was hide behind a bunch of boxes! Apparently, he thought I was trying to trick him when I asked him to meet me there. It's kind of sad, really… I spent most of that afternoon trying to convince him that I wasn't going to let someone come in and make trouble. When he finally settled down, it was time for me to go. On my way out, Richter stopped me and said, "Hey, Aster… I'm sorry I was so uptight earlier. I haven't had anyone be so… nice to me." He pushed up his glasses and added something that bothered me a little. "…What am I saying? It's only been one day." He folded his arms and looked down, like he was trying to avoid making eye contact with me. I reached up to touch his shoulder, but he practically jumped away.

"Don't be pessimistic," I said. "Tomorrow… same time, same place?"

I could see the gears turning in Richter's head as he weighed his options and calculated his consequences. After a long and thoughtful pause, he agreed. "…Sure. See you tomorrow."

Getting Richter to open up wasn't an easy task, to say the least. For the first few weeks, all we did was talk about small stuff like what we did that day. Richter would awkwardly try to avoid any contact (physical or verbal) that I wanted to make with him. Sometimes I lost confidence in both him and myself, thinking that maybe he really was too damaged and I couldn't do anything to fix that- or at least open him up a little and get him to realize that he wasn't as bad as everyone said he was. But then I'd remind myself that Richter was basically a good person, so what reason did I have to not stay around with him? If courage was the magic that turned dreams into reality, I would succeed just so long as I was brave enough to keep trying to be his friend.

My patience was rewarded, even if the reward was a bit slow to come. Soon he began to ask questions. They were mostly about me- how I came here, how I handled the classes at my age, things I noticed around the institute… kind of like that. But whenever I tried to ask him a question back, he'd dodge the question or just ignore it. Even so, he kept meeting me nearly every day. Some part of him must have trusted me, or he wouldn't have kept showing up. I guess he was trying to convince the rest of him that I wasn't and wouldn't ever be a threat to him.

Then, about a year after we first met, Richter asked "the" question. "Aster, why do you keep talking with me and trying to be my 'friend?' Humans and half-elves aren't friends." It seemed like such a silly question at the time, so I didn't really give a serious answer. My poor choice of words apparently gave him a whole new series of complexes, though. (Good job, Aster!) But really, how was I supposed to know that he'd look at the expression "kick the dog" in that way?

I spent a good chunk of time after that trying to get Richter to stop putting himself down. I just can't stand it when people have an unnecessarily negative view of themselves. Did Richter really think he was a bad person just for being a half-elf or for whatever trivial reason he could think up? I had tried to tell him that that line of thinking wasn't true before, but I didn't actually get through to him till then.

It took me a year, but I finally earned Richter's trust. How do I know it was that point and not earlier or later? Well, after all was said and done, he said to me, "I never did show you that magic, did I? …Come closer."

For the first time, Richter didn't pull away when I got close. That was a good sign. In his hand was a tiny flame. I promptly became fascinated with it. "Wow, that's amazing! It's a light or a lighter, whenever you need it." I think I even tried to touch it… Kids do silly things when they're excited, you know?

Richter shrugged and the flame went away, much to my dismay. "I tried using it like that a few times, but the adults yell at me if I light things that way. Something about skewing the results." There was another one of those awkward pauses where Richter did nothing but stare at me for a good two minutes or so. Then he said, "Do you want to see something else?" Of course! "Well, then get out of the way."

I saw a few thin, greenish slivers of wind magic form in his hand, and then there was a gust of wind... a gust of wind that knocked down just about everything in its path. A whole bunch of boxes blew out of place, along with some (out-of-date and sometimes moldy) textbooks that happened to be stacked nearby. Richter stared blankly at the mess. "...Great. Now what? I'm sure someone heard all that thumping around."

"Simple! We just put everything back."

Richter fidgeted with his glasses. "That's easy for you to say. When someone comes in here, who do you think is going to get blamed? I will! They'll find me up here with you, and then they'll-"

"Stop, Richter! We'll just clean this up. Besides, we picked this place because no one would find us here. We'll be fine." I was thinking, "who will what?" but I decided not to ask. Poor Richter... he was getting back into his pessimistic mode. I should have shown him a little more sympathy, but I thought he was just being a buzzkill at the time.

"...I guess you're right. Will you help me, Aster?"

"Of course! I'll always help you. Besides, it would be silly for me to sit on the sides and let you do all the work for something this simple."

"How is that silly? ...You really do have a few screws loose."

"I hope you can get used to it, Richter!"

There was yet another first that day: Richter actually laughed at something I said. "I guess I can. Thanks, Aster."


	3. Chapter 3: May Explode Under Pressure

Trying to negotiate with the higher-ups to get Richter to stay my roommate after that research project was difficult, but definitely worth it. (I'm not going to say how I pulled it off, but I will tell you that it didn't involve threats or bribes.) You learn so much more about a person when you actually live with them instead of just seeing them for a few hours every day.

Having Richter as a roommate was... interesting at first. Seriously, he had Instant Waking Skills! Every day, he'd be awake at 6:30 like clockwork. In fact, his not waking up on schedule was the only way to tell if he was sick, since he'd hide his symptoms and claim that he was fine till the cows came home. As for me... I'm pretty sure that I would sleep till noon if someone didn't wake me up. Maybe even 1:00, if I had a rough night. I was a heavy sleeper...

This is probably going to sound completely melodramatic and come from nowhere, but sometimes I wonder if Richter had those "skills" beaten into him. With the way they were treating him before I came along, I wouldn't be surprised. I think it might be safe to say that anything I didn't put into his head was beaten into him. It would explain why he was so skittish in the beginning... It's a depressing conclusion to draw, but it's possible.

Oh, I'm sure Richter's been telling you about how I always took care of him and how I always did this that and the other thing for him. He really doesn't know how much he did for me. He was like a big brother to me.

For example... I wasn't perfect and I don't think I will be any time soon. I would get frustrated, just like everyone else. I was just really, really good at holding it back till I settled some dispute or politely declined to do someone's homework for them. (Everyone used me as a mediator during quarrels... I don't like watching people fight, so I'd be willing to help sort it out, but after so many...) Unfortunately, I'd often end up blowing up in Richter's face after enough buildup. But he was pretty much the only person I could do that in front of, and he always handled it really well... It felt good to have a shoulder to cry on when I couldn't keep it in any longer. (Or a chest, when he started getting taller.) After my emotional outbursts, Richter would figure out a logical solution. Basically, a Richter solution. And you know what? Those solutions worked most of the time! Why can't Richter see that he did things for me, too?

Speaking of logical solutions... Richter's logic kept me grounded. I'm sure that, if he didn't bark at me to wake me up every one in a while, I would have floated off into space! (Not literally, but you know what I'm saying, right?) Then you could REALLY say I had a few screws loose. Sure, courage may be the magic that turns dreams into reality, but you have to be IN reality first!

There was this one time- we'd been roommates for about a year, so I think I was thirteen and he was fifteen- I had an absolutely horrible day. I don't want to have to go into detail, so I'll just say that it involved some very personal insults directed at both me and at Richter (mostly at me, for a change). I tried to talk the bully out of his attacks, but I wasn't succeeding. I'm pretty sure that, if a teacher hadn't intervened, I would have adhered to my principle of standing up to people that gave me trouble and knocked him out on the spot. I'll only let you abuse me and those I care about for so long before it becomes too much, you know. I managed to hold it in for the rest of the day.

Then, as most things under pressure will do, I erupted. I was just sitting down in the room I shared with Richter and doing my homework, when something reminded me of the more hurtful things that boys said. I put my head down, clenched my teeth, ran through all my mantras in my head (yes, including "courage is the magic that turns dreams into reality")... anything to keep from just randomly blowing up in front of Richter. I must have made a funny noise or twitched, because Richter came over to where I was sitting. (At that time, having my head down was practically my standard sleeping position, so Richter normally tried to wake me once or just let me be.) "Aster, are you alright?"

Poor, poor Richter had no idea what was coming. I slowly turned to look at him, still trying to restrain myself. "Richter, I..." All I had to do was open my mouth for my composure to slip... well, in this case, it was more like it smashed. It had the guts to take my rationality with it, too. "I can't stand them anymore, Richter! It's like they're starting fights on purpose! All those kids do is fight, fight, talk dirty about each other, fight, and then talk dirty about each other again! And if they're not fighting, they're stirring up problems about a bunch of other stupid things! And they all come to me about it. I'm tired of this nonsense! Why can't they handle their problems themselves every once in a while?"

To someone looking in from a distance, Richter might have appeared stone-faced as always. But I could see that I might have- no, that I definitely freaked him out with my outburst. I couldn't just stop myself there, oh no. I just had to cut Richter off when he tried to say something and keep going. "And you! You're about to say, 'I'm sorry,' aren't you! Don't even go there, because you haven't done anything wrong!" Even forgiveness sounds like a condemnation when the person forgiving you is screaming like a banshee. "Have I ever told you how much I hate it when you start getting really, really negative? When you go on and on about all the things that are supposedly wrong with you or something you've done? It's not necessary at all, and... and..."

Yeah, I was finished now. I melted into a mess of tears when it finally sank in that I turned on Richter for no real reason. Was that a little fear in his eyes? Good work, Aster! I swear, for every lesson I gave him, I must have given him three more complexes to go with them. I grabbed Richter and squeezed him tight. He didn't move at all. I should have invested in an actual stressball so that I didn't have to get Richter in a death grip every time something really bothered me.

It took me a few minutes to realize that Richter was trying to shake some sense back into me. "Aster, calm down!" I sputtered something that caused Richter to stop growling and start barking. "Aster! Calm down! NOW!" That time I decided to just shut up for a bit. If Richter was yelling at me, I was way out of line. He stopped shaking me. "About those kids... have you ever actually tried just refusing to help them? I think you could get away with it. They'd get the hint after a while. You don't need to be a slave for the peace of the student body. That's just ridiculous." Leave it to Richter to point out the obvious to me when it flew over my head.

I finally was capable of speaking like a normal person. "Thanks, Richter... Thank you for putting up with all that. I guess I really should just let them work it out themselves..."

Richter had his mind on something else. "As for what you said about me..."

Oh, no. I was _not_ going over that again. "No, Richter. You're fine. You didn't do anything wrong. You're actually getting better at being less negative. Really."

"...Really? Thanks." This time, Richter hugged me back. He felt so warm...

There's nothing that feels better than having a problem solved, especially if you needed a little help to do it. I can tell you that much.


	4. Chapter 4: Aster After the End

I remember the blast hitting me, then intense pain... but nothing else. I woke up not too far away from Richter. I can't say for sure how long it was since I died, but it wasn't long before Richter started putting his crazy scheme into motion. He had set up camp somewhere, and was dead asleep. I tried talking to him, touching him... but nothing would wake him up. In fact, my hand passed right through him (oddly enough, the way to tell if someone in the mortal world can feel you is that that sort of thing doesn't happen). There were a few other people there too, and they explained my situation to me. Apparently, I was bound to an object on Richter. I'm not entirely sure what it was or how it could have happened, since Richter left most of his valuables back in Sybak. Maybe he went back and got something before I woke up. The others also told me that people with strong bonds to something in the mortal world could have a strong enough will to keep "living." Two nosy little girls wanted to know about my connection with Richter, but I opted out of telling them. With that, I began a journey of my own: I would find a way to communicate with Richter as I followed him around.

Needless to say, that was easier said than done. My first interactions with him were limited to repeatedly realizing that I couldn't touch him and that he couldn't see or hear me, and occasionally resorting to leeching a little Mana from his body when I felt faint. Frustrating is one word for it. Eventually, I became strong enough to give Richter a headache via some sort of psychic interference caused by me vainly trying to slap some sense into him. I just couldn't get him to come to his senses. It was painful, watching my friend do all of these unbelievable things, and not being able to talk him out of it. I had to watch him make pacts with demons, listen to him bark at Aqua, and generally see him be a jerk. The Richter I knew didn't act like that. (...Is he still asleep? Good. He'd start angsting over that, even though I've told him it's all over...)

I was intrigued when he picked up Emil, though. Even though he seemed rather uncomfortable, Richter was in a mentoring role! I told him he would be able to do it someday. Richter repeated just about everything I had said to him, but with his own Richter spin on it. I think he was a little too rough with Emil, but that's just Richter... he did have a reason to be grumpy this time. He did a good job with getting Emil out of his shell (even though he wasn't the only one working on Emil), and I'm not about to let him think otherwise. Emil was skittish, just like Richter was in the beginning (don't tell Richter I made that comparison!), and he opened up in a similar way, too. At least, it looks similar from what I saw and heard. I guess my little mantra lives on in some kind of memetic mutation! I wonder if I can talk to Emil next time Ratatosk re-connects to his mind (it's a little like telepathy, but it's specific to them). I want to know what he really thinks about when someone says, "courage is the magic that turns dreams into reality." I'm sure that he's got questions for me, too.

The final battle… I was asleep for that little dialogue before it, but then I felt pain for the first time since I died. That had to be the most painful thing I'd ever felt. Take the worst headache you've ever had, triple it, and then spread it all over your body… it's kind of like that. When I finally detached myself from Richter and regained my bearings, he'd transformed into a demon. Maybe the demonic spirits he was drawing power from were trying to shove me out of the way (keep in mind that that's all guesswork, though). I got too freaked out and decided to just shut down partway through the battle, but I was up in time to see Ratatosk try to control Emil. After that, I didn't wake up again till Ratatosk and Richter were discussing how they'd handle remaking the seal.

I watched Richter, Emil, and the others fight each other. It was horrible, not being able to talk some sense into either side. I didn't think- and I still don't think- that anyone on either side of the fight deserved to die. And then, when Ratatosk tried to completely override Emil… I thought I was going to die again if Emil didn't pull through. Then again, if he didn't, everyone would have died anyway. In the end, Emil did survive, although he did it in a different way than I'd have guessed. It was like a self-contained negotiation between Emil and Ratatosk- just what I wanted to do with them, except Emil seems to have done it mostly by himself. Good job, Emil! Oh, and good job to Ratatosk, too, I guess. He finally realized what he was doing wrong and tried to correct it. He was- and is- accepting the consequences of his actions and trying to atone for what he did.

Some time after Richter and Ratatosk's discussion (and Emil's release back into the outside world- boy, Richter knows me too well. Good call on that one, Richter), I woke up again to see Richter sleeping. I had a feeling that Ratatosk was present but not focusing much on what happened in this room. He must have been busy re-coding the world. I remembered a trick that some of the others taught me about. Supposedly, trying to get into a person's dreams was one of the most consistent ways to be able to talk with them. My curiosity was getting the better of me, and since I wouldn't really be able to leave this place, I snatched a little Mana that was flowing in and decided to give it a shot.

I started by trying to remember the room we'd met in as children, but I was having trouble, so all I could produce was a rather poorly lit room. Well, that's a start, I thought. ...I was completely at a loss as to what to do next, so I just touched him... and to my surprise, the experiment worked! I was in that room with Richter for the first time in what felt like ages. Well, it wasn't quite THAT room, but for all intents and purposes it was that room.

Richter eventually woke up in the dream, and I explained my situation to him. He asked me whether I forgave him or not. For what? He never even so much as "burdened" me. He was surprised that I still had my ideals even after all these events. Then a series of mutual surprises ensued. He surprised me by saying that he... loved me. I surprised him back by saying he was what brought me back, and... You know what? I loved him too. We had one last hug before I felt something tugging on me. The tugging turned into a yank, and suddenly the dream we shared faded from view.

It turned out that Ratatosk noticed something wasn't quite right, so he intercepted me. This time, Ratatosk let me go when I gave him the explanation. And then I discovered the best part of all: Richter could hear and feel me outside of dreams! He still couldn't see me, but at least I could talk to him easily now. Ratatosk had to knock him out again after that, but I decided I'd pay Richter another visit before I called it a day for the time being.

…Well, that's about everything up till now. But I've been thinking… what are we going to do when we get out? I don't know what Richter's got planned. I guess we'll just have to see how much the world changes. As for me… well, I remember when Richter and I used to talk about our plans for the future. The conversation would always end up with us talking about what would happen after I died (he'd still be around for a long time after I was gone, since he's a half-elf). Well, I guess instead of him watching over my kids, I'll be watching over his.

"Aster, I don't think that's going to-"

Oh, hush, Richter, you've got over a thousand years to think about it! …Wait a minute. Has he been awake the entire time?

"No, but the look on his face just now was priceless."

"…Did you HAVE to say that, Ratatosk?"

…Oh boy. They'd better not start fighting again… Come on, guys! Get along! You've only got to spend a thousand more years in here together!

"…That's really reassuring, Aster."

Really, Richter?

"…It was a _JOKE_."


End file.
